Counselling psychologist Benjamin Zulu has advised newly-wedded couples against entertaining relatives in their homes.
According to Zulu, the first 5-10 years of a marriage is crucial, and a couple should focus on building their home without an intrusion from relatives of either the man or woman.
“When you marry, you must establish your nuclear family with your wife. If you allow your relatives to keep coming to your house, they will come in turns, your house will be like an airport,” he said on Citizen TV.
The life coach explained that relatives can destabilise the set up of a young home and may expose children to bad behaviours or even abuse them.
Zulu added that it is difficult to control the behaviours of relatives and they will end up breaking the rules of a home.
“Pay for a lodging for them to sleep, it is not a must they sleep at your place.”
He also warned men against building their houses steps away from that of their parents.
Zulu insists that there must be a distance between one’s wife and mother in order to avoid conflict between the two.
“Do not take your wife to the compound that your mother lives in. These are two women who are not relatives. When there is no boundary, they will fight over small things, distance is important,” he said.
This, he says, does not mean that one has stopped caring about their family, but is a way of establishing boundaries to allow a young family to grow.
“We do not do this because we are mean or do not want to help the family, but to maintain respect, peace of mind and to give you freedom to raise your children in your own principle,” Zulu said.
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